10.31.2013

Showing Up With My Heart

I wish I could just download my heart these days. I don't know what God is up to, but my heart has been a mix of deep and broken with life and fire bursting through. {Kind of like a fall leaf at its peak….or gray clouds lined with silver light.} No amount of words I write will cover the glory of it all, so I might as well just skip to the photos!



Not so fast, heart-of-mine! You don't get off the hook that easily! Someone out there needs to be encouraged by your story. Someone needs to know her heart won't always feel like it's in a downward spiral.

A frosty sunrise.


I know this much is true: your hard season won't last forever. Oh, it feels like forever when you're the one in the middle of it. But hear this from one whose heart winter lasted longer than the calendar said it should…and one who's heart is seeing through to the other side: you will receive a crown of beauty in place of ashes…and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. {It's a promise! Read Isaiah 61:1-3.}


I used to hide behind a well-built fortress of theology and quote Bible verses as a quick bandage to keep the pain from spilling. {Head knowledge has always been my default mode for guarding my heart.} But when you're not sure if you can even take your next breath because the pain is crushing you, a bandage won't cut it. You need a rescue. You need life. You need hope.


When I was a 12-year-old camper at Camp Ozark, I remember hearing God's word described as "alive and active." {Hebrews 4:12} I've never forgotten that, but I think I'm just now experiencing the truth of it in my heart. Pain calls the heart forth if you let it. And that's been the gift for me: showing up with my heart.


As most of you know, our Franklin Dream has turned out to be the most broken kind of beautiful. It's taught me to see beauty in brokenness, to accept the broken, and trust that beauty will come. {Back to that crown of beauty! I'm so wearing that!}


I don't know why our dream has been so fraught with brokenness, but God has let me in on a possible reason: for the display of His splendor. {Isaiah 61:3} To think that God is showing off through my brokenness is about as crazy as a Texas girl moving to Tennessee! Okay, crazier. God is WAY crazier than I am. But I've learned that I can trust His kind of crazy. And you know what? I wouldn't trade it. Because God's crazy is far better than my comfort zone.

Time for beauty…


Lady bugs have taken over!
They're everywhere…even in the house!

The chickens love to free range across the back yard.

Snack time!
{These are our August chicks. So big now!}

Laura Finley's new role on the farm: Chicken Rescuer.

A long overdue baby duckling update:

When they were only four days old, she led them to the barn.

They were so tiny!
I was worried the other animals would harm them.

But Mama Duck is VERY protective of her babies.
She doesn't let anyone near them.

They really did take to it like ducks to water!

And here they are today.

Look how they've grown!
{They'll be a month old tomorrow.}

And a few things on the way home to the farm…

A well house.

The sweetest face.
{And I never tire of the historic stone walls.}

God is doing a new thing! I can feel it in this heart of mine.

xo,

P.S. I got the sweetest surprise gift from a favorite card client/blog reader/friend in response to this post written in honor of my Uncle Joey. I was in tears when I opened it. Wish he could see it! {Made me think: we should send surprise gifts more often!}


30 comments:

  1. My heart lurches to hear that yours is breaking. I hope this season passes with victory and wisdom in your clutches. Your photos are amazing and the beauty surrounding you is just stunning. Keep your beautiful chin up friend.

    And I'm glad it's ladybugs now and not fleas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweet Megan, thank you for your compassion. I guess what I didn't make perfectly clear is that I'm not in despair. And I'm not even in the thick of it. Just seeing how my pain is being used for a purpose. I think we all have pain in our lives. I had just gotten used to covering and avoiding mine. Learning to feel it and walk in and through it has truly been a gift. It's making me more fully alive. I'm the fall leaf that's about to burn up with holy fire! This is a good and beautiful thing! xo!

      PS - I was thinking the same thing about the ladybugs…glad they aren't fleas!

      Delete
  2. I am so concerned that your heart seems to always be in a fragile state. You are so blessed and I know that you know that. I too hope this season passes quickly for you. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your concern, Dianne. You are right that my heart has been fragile. But it's truly a good thing. I'm feeling the blessings and the gifts that are growing out of that fragile places. Beauty is rising!

      Delete
  3. Amen. Like the radiance of fall in Middle TN, God is showing off in your brokenness. But I would argue those pieces you see as broken are pieces of a new creation. One being made whole. A life mended. Our kinsmen redeemer proves that a healed person is far more beautiful than someone who appears to have always been well. Love you! Kim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes and amen. Thank you for getting my heart today.

      Delete
  4. Your farm is always beautiful to see! I adore looking at the ducklings following behind the mama duck Your words touched me today. Thankyou for them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome. Putting your heart out on the world wide web doesn't exactly feel intimate and safe, but God knows who needs the words. Glad they found their way to you.

      Delete

  5. "Pain calls the heart forth if you let it. And that's been the gift for me: showing up with my heart."

    This.

    So proud of you. God is so big in and through you.

    Get ready for the new thing.

    Love you so,

    Sibi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Sibi, you are one who knows the pain and the new thing. Celebrating both with you today. Thank you for putting your heart out there for me to see.

      Delete
  6. i breathed in peace as i viewed these images. love what the lord is teaching you & how you share it...so generously
    much love!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I learned to mask my pain my entire life. At the funeral for my husband, son, and brother-in-law all killed together my dad said "don't let them see you cry". Dear One.....cry your heart out. God wants us to, so he can heal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Ruth, my heart shuddered when I read what was spoken over you. Precious Ruth. I hope you have given yourself permission to let the tears fall. Your advice to cry my heart out feels all the more valuable because of your experience. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you.

      Delete
  8. Beautiful, Beautiful post. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Whoever sent the hat gave you such a special gift. Your Uncle Joey got a big kick out of you being a barn queen and he would love the hat though he'd be sorry he didn't think of it himself. A big thank you to your special friend. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's a very special lady. Thoughtful in every way!

      Delete
  10. Beautiful, beautiful post.
    Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

    be blessed
    barb

    ReplyDelete
  11. Been thinking about you. Ready to spend time together again.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I cross my personal windmess since two years... It seems that it will never end... I hate myself for my weakness, and not know me out. My family knows nothing of what I go through, and I would be too ashamed to tell them. I keep a beautiful "facade", the one of a woman who seems to have everything ... Everything except peace. I trust God and I know he loves me. I left my life in his hands ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Niki, my heart goes out to you. I'd love to offer you words of encouragement from my own heart, but God has put His words on my heart for you today. From 2 Corinthians 12:9,10…from God's heart to yours: “'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

      Delete
  13. Sharing your words does have an impact you may never know. I feel that I'm a spiritual person, but struggle with the "religious" part. My experience with religious people is the holier than thou feeling. You show your grace by the way you live and the way you speak. You make your relationship with God feel warm and comfortable. Your photos say more about how you're feeling than words, I imagine. If so, I can tell you appreciate beauty everyday, you find the good in the day, you are facing trials head on, and mostly, you can see that the momentary challenge will be followed by beauty beyond belief. Thank you for your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diana, I'm honored and grateful that you feel welcome here and are encouraged and nourished by my words. I love that you sense my relationship with God is warm and comfortable. It does feel that way. He is so personal and tender with me. Sometimes I put God in a box or get caught up in head knowledge vs. my heart, but He is always good to get me back in touch with my heart. Beauty feels like His love language. :) xo!

      Delete
    2. And thank you for sharing your heart here. I know how risky that can be.

      Delete
  14. Beautiful post, Linsey! Only God can bring such beauty, such a joy to see!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks for sharing your precious heart. I needed to hear it. AND I want to send my Hoot to Camp Ozark. I'm just afraid to send him out on his own... so far away!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Camp Ozark is far away, but there will be so much love waiting there. I wouldn't be who I am without that place. That being said, my children haven't been to camp. But they get to live on a farm! ;)

      Delete
  16. It all looks so very beautiful!! We got covered up with lady bugs too. I went out with my camera to capture them but they bite!! Who knew!!!! So I went back out with long sleeves. I've never seen so many. I love your photos here. So very gorgeous. Katey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Had no idea they bite! Crazy how many we've had!

      Delete
  17. Thanks for a very timely post. From someone who is feeling very broken at the moment.
    P.S. I emailed you about the retreat but never heard back from you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So happy to have your name on the list for a future beauty hunting retreat! Thanks so much for your email and encouraging words about this post being for you. I knew it was for someone. Hugs.

      Delete

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...