2.14.2013

How Could I Not Share This Today?!?!

A spontaneous moment in the sunshine with my puppies: 


No, I didn't pose them like this.
Bella is a lover! She gets all the credit for nose kissing Buddy.
{I just happened to have my iPhone...and two minutes in Photoshop.}

The fact that I'm posting today is a minor miracle! {The fact that I wrote out of my rawness the other day may have been a minor miracle, too. Scary, but healing.} Between prayers, tears, writing, basking in the sunshine with my pups, and spending time being creative, my heart feels refreshed. Genuinely, mysteriously, surprisingly refreshed!

Am I "back to normal?" No. Even better, I'm learning a new normal. A less perfect, less controlled, more alive and more okay with a mess kind of normal. I'm learning to cling to Jesus..for real. When you're in a new place, He's all you've got. When you break down in front of a group of strangers and feel like your heart is in a free fall, He's got you. And He never lets go.

Perfection {i.e. control} does a dangerous thing: it keeps you from really needing Jesus...and keeps you at a distance from others. It's only in our mess that we can be truly known and most deeply loved.

After reading my last post, a new/old friend from college said this:
you and your mess are so beautiful and courageous. i like this Linsey - I relate to this Linsey - Perfect Linsey made me feel uncomfortable and unworthy - this Linsey is real.
My heart rejoiced when I read her words. FREEDOM!!! Not long ago, a few of those words would've stung...because I was still trying so hard {unconsciously} to be Perfect Linsey. But after a good, healthy breakdown {and breakthrough}, her words are as welcome as the sun! {Side note: I was so busy trying to be perfect in college that I completely missed getting to know this girl's heart. I chalked her up as my opposite and never thought we'd have much in common. How wrong I was! One of the greatest blessings of blogging has been our reconnection and new friendship. If she didn't live halfway across the globe, I'd be hugging her neck right now!}

Another reason I'm smiling today? 16 years ago, a guy I had only known for 2 1/2 months asked me to marry him. {HERE'S his creative Valentine's Day proposal.} And the best part? I'm still saying YES...every single day!

Hugs and love to you, my sweet and faithful friends!


P.S. If you want to know more about who you really are, read Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. One of the most life-changing books I've ever read. {Ironically, I read it for the first time right here in Nashville...16 years ago, during my senior year of college. About to read it again for the 3rd time.}

6 comments:

  1. So surprised to see your blog in my mailbox this evening. Jesus is the only one who can do that for a person: left them up and give hope for the future and comfort in the moment. I'm in the UK, but I feel like a friend.

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  2. Precious post. I love that you are still writing. Several months ago, I thought you were leaving us. I love the picture of the puppies. I love how you share your heart. Xoxoxox
    Lisa

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  3. What an adorable photo of the furry friends. Perfect for Valentine's Day.

    I live in Houston and stumbled upon your blog sometime ago and, now, again. I remember reading about your dream to move to Franklin and I'm glad to hear it has come to pass. (The Man and I love Tennessee, and enjoy visting there occasionally.)

    As for that perfection thing ... I always say if we were perfect, we'd have no need of God. As you said here, perfectionism really does separate us from Him, but we all have battles (whether perfectionism or hoarding) and it's a comfort to know He loves us where we are and will help us make changes, if we are willing to give Him full control.

    May God bless you as you continue to adjust to your new life. I have a few friends in the Nashville area and will be sure and send them information about your husband's practice. I'm a firm believer in the wonders of chiropractic medicine.

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  4. i have read that book twice! heart changing. i always call Him abba now. i love that name. and you are so right..i am so dancing with you ..i get what your say...completely! oh friend...wished we could live close.
    this is SO good to read tonight. Abba is good...and your my sister and THAT is a blessing. hugs and love
    xo

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  5. hi linsey,
    this recovering perfectionist has been wondering why i had not heard back from you about painting your fireplace....and just now, i have read your recent posts and understand...so sorry you are hurting right now dearest....i am praying for you...moving to a new place is on the list of top ten stresses!! you are experiencing a temporary feeling that will subside when you acclamate....give yourself time....you WILL feel better and less lonely after time...be kind to yourself right now....you WILL find your niche here...time is your friend... i am heading to chicago this week and will be back on tuesday....why don't we have a painting party when i get back? fun! have you noticed the gorgeous daffodils blooming on old natchez trace?? one of the most beautiful sites in the whole world. this is your home now and you are one lucky gal!! surrounded by the beauty of tennessee....
    erin

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  6. isn't it so amazing to get to know the new you..the real you...the you that isn't trying so hard in everything?
    I'm there with you...so grateful he has turned me inside out and allowed me to learn to be more comfortable with imperfect.

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"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

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